...

well, fall has fallen here in manhattan. i've enjoyed pulling out my scarf & bundling up a couple of times. life has been getting busy the past few weeks. my roommate, sarah, will be getting married in less than a month!!!! we spent a couple hours celebrating her yesterday (saturday) at her first of FIVE bridal showers.
last night a couple friends & i got together for a recipe exchange/movie night. we had a great time & watching a Christmas movie as we ate chili, bisuits, scalloped corn, & devil's food cake surprise cookies (YUM).
there are some changes coming up soon. both of my roomies will be relocating to be closer to the loves of their lives (sarah to clay center when she gets married & julie to wyoming to be closer to her boyfriend, scot). i'm not sure where my next home will be, but i'm excited to see where Jesus will choose for Us to live ;) life with Him is a constant adventure.

i met with the career development office at KSU a couple times and have decided on my major - communication studies - with a secondary major in international studies. after speaking with a new friend, i've begun thinking about also getting a minor in non-profit organizational leadership. EXCITING!!!!!!!
school this semester is getting a bit boring so i'm excited to get it wrapped up & move on to new classes & get closer to the classes that i'm passionate about (math, history, and science don't really fall into that category) ;)

well, thanks for a break from my history research paper...back to work.

you don't have to explain

ok, friends, i have a confession...you know the silly articles on msn.com? the topics range from "will she ever leave her boyfriend" to "how to dress your age" and yes i read one about moments a guy is most attracted to a girl.
(stick with me...this is going somewhere)
so, in the midst of times like, "when she locks eyes with me and smiles" and "when she's just gotten out of the shower" was one that came back to me later. "when she says, 'you don't have to explain.'" it went on to clarify that it's nice when a guy is 10 minutes late, or needs to run an errand, or isn't able to make it to an event and instead of getting grilled he hears, "you don't have to explain" because it communicates, "i trust you."

the past few weeks...ok, months...have had moments, hours, and most recently days of me saying, "EXPLAIN YOURSELF, GOD!" (it's been quite unattractive). as one friend put it, "you just found out you don't have all the answers and now your panties are in a wad." at the time, i graciously disagreed, but within hours realized she hit the nail on the head.

i remember when i was a little girl, my dad drilled it into our heads, "obey now. question later." i will never forget the moment this became real to me. we lived on a farm & i was in the back of a truck that dad was driving. i was sitting up on the side when dad yelled out the window, "cassie, sit in the bed of the truck now!"
"WHY? I DON'T WANT TO. I WON'T...*bam* (we drove under a tree & the branches scratched up my arms & back)
i started crying, expecting dad to feel bad and love on me. instead he said, "and that is why you do what i say when i say it. there's always time to question LATER."

i can choose to grumble & complain over unanswered questions or i can simply obey and ask questions later. and, honestly, there's a freedom - and attraction - in saying, "Ok. You don't have to explain," because it resonates the truth of, "i trust You." so, i'm getting off the "side of the truck" (aka doubting His truth and trying to complicate the simplicities) and sitting in the "bed of the truck" (aka safe and sound where i can enjoy the ride and the view).

random facts (this is for you, adge)

1). I'm content to never birth children. I enjoy being a "spiritual mother"

2). Discipleship makes me feel alive

3). When public speaking I prefer to speak to a large crowd of strangers than a small group of acquiantances & friends

4). I am overcoming a fear of committment

5). It is easier for me to hear someone's heart than to share my own

6). I want to get back into music/worship in a public setting...maybe someday