marvelous light

i answered the phone to hear my mom's shaking voice informing me that a friend & teammate of my brother's had unexpectedly died.

when i got back to work from lunch i was thinking of how unfortunate it was for Casey's life to be cut short. just as the thought came in i heard, "into marvelous light i am running. out of darkness. out of shame. by the cross You are the truth, You are the life, You are the way."

tonight my hope was confirmed. Casey has run into that marvelous light. his heart was surrendered to Christ. although answers of his untimely death will not come, there is a comfort in knowing that God - somehow - will work all things out for good.

random rantings (cont'd)

i have the awesome blessing of...A JOB! yes, i am aware that employment in this economy is not something to complain about -- so, i won't. i am very grateful for the God-fearing women whom i get to call boss AND friend. i am grateful for my spanish teachers (a.k.a. co-workers) who are teaching me new words and phrases daily. i WILL be fluent in spanish & french before i'm 30 years old. i'm grateful for the opportunity to influence so many lives for brief glimpses of their day as they come to sign in to see their doctor. it truly is a great way to spend my day!

now, can i follow that up with a HOWEVER...? it's my blog, so i'm going to say i can.
however, it's not what i was created for. i am notorious for over-spiritualizing things. but, i don't think this is one of those instances. pastor clint thomas gave a great message at slowburn a few months ago (www.slowburnnashville.com). it was part of his GUTS series & he challenged us to identify our "inhale" and "exhale." both are required to live.

do you ever have those moments that you let your heart & mind wander? i do quite often, honestly. (especially during both of my daily 1hr drives). i'm pretty sure i'd be fulfilled to work part-time at a local coffeeshop and spend the rest of my time volunteering here, there, and everywhere. finding a need & having the time & resources to meet that need. don't you wonder how that's possible in the movies?? people are able to live comfortably with no worries about bills or paychecks and they have the coolest, most flexible jobs that give them the freedom to spend all their time doing what they actually WANT to do? =)

but, obviously, i don't live in the movies (although i think a reality show of the steele family would be mildly entertaining). so, tomorrow i'll wake up at 5:45am. i'll leave for work at 6:45am. i'll work from 7:45am-4:45pm. i'll do it with a grateful heart while hoping for that miraculous door of opportunity to open.

restlessly content to pursue His fullness moment-by-moment,
cbs

random rantings

the past few weeks i have found myself asking, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" to quite a few people. it's a fun way for me to get to know people and it can lead to some awesome conversations!
this morning at work, i thought, "what difference am i making today?" i mean, sure, i'm nice to the patients who come in our clinic. i attempt to portray the reality of Christ to my co-workers. but, do you ever have that, "there must be more to life than this," feeling? oh, it was stirring BIG TIME in my heart this morning!

since coming home there has been GREAT progress made at Shiloh Retreat Center. that is encouraging to my soul! i think once that is going full speed ahead, i'll have a venue to impact lives. but, i don't want to wait. i don't want to spend my life in neutral. i want to be moving forward at all times.

perhaps i'm just getting antsy, because for the first time i see ACTION taking place for this DREAM to become a reality. oh, i have dreamed of the day that youth from all over will gather at Shiloh Retreat Center to worship the ONE, TRUE GOD! these youth will dive into the depths of His Truth and be forever changed by the power of His reality. friends! when i think about it, tears come to my eyes, my heart beats faster, and i just want to squeal in delight!

but, alas, we're in work mode. we're in preparation mode. hmmm, i wonder if Jesus ever feels like this as He prepares our Heavenly Home and awaits our arrival. He knows what a joyous experience it will be that He just can't contain His excitement! but, that doesn't change the reality that there's preparation to be done before the experience can happen.

random rantings from my heart,
cbs